December Sharky Awards

In my ever-evolving quest to recognize the books that I read and enjoy (but without writing reviews (because I am terrible at that)), I give out awards that highlight some of my favorite things about the books I’ve read over the past month. And since my bookmark is a shark – a bookshark, if you will – I call them the Sharkys. And here is a picture of some candy that my husband bought me for Christmas, which I will never eat:

Because they involve “organic”, “energy”, “sports”, and “chewing”, none of which I particularly care for.

On to the awards!

Best Character Names:
Enclave, by Ann Aguirre
Actually, the process by which the characters get their names is even neater, but I won’t spill the beans on that. Suffice it to say we get goodies like Deuce, Fade, Skittle, Copper, and Twist. Any one of which would also be a fabulous band name.

 

The Battlestar Galactica Memorial Award For “Ooh, a fun space romp…oh my, that’s a bit dark…whoa, that’s even darker…holy crap what is happening to these poor kids??”
Glow, by Amy Kathleen Ryan
One thing I always admired about Battlestar was its ability to blend all the suspense and action of a space adventure with the complex, morality-driven themes of any other well-written television drama, and I was delighted to find that Glow did the same sort of thing. I don’t know what I was expecting, but man, an exploration of the merits/dangers of organized religion was not it (though a welcome surprise). And, also like Battlestar, there was much to be disturbed by – I kept being like, oh no you didn’t just say that, Amy! Oh snap, you went there! Because I apparently read this book in the late nineties.

Best Bad Guy:
The sylph from Supernaturally, by Kiersten White
He just makes a brief appearance, and it’s right at the beginning, but I mean, come on – an evil cloud? Stalking you like you’re Charlie Brown and having a terrible day, and then kidnapping you and taking you to its lair in the heavens? How awesome is that? An honorable mention also goes to the cameo appearance of Steve the vampire (it brings me such joy to even just type that), whose Eeyore-like malaise tickles me to no end.

Best Line:
“Part of me thinks he’s just humoring me, me as a kid, him most of the way to man, but then part of me sees my hands in front of me. They’re Mum’s hands, not a little girl’s hands, and I know I’m wearing Mum’s face, too. I wonder how long it will take for me to feel as adult inside as I look outside.”  –Maggie Stiefvater, The Scorpio Races
There are quite literally a heap of awards I could give this book (like Best Horses, Best Demon Horses, Book That Turned Me Into A PILE OF TEARS AND SNOT) and picking just one line out of a treasure trove of awesome lines isn’t easy, but something about this one grabbed me. Maybe the fact that it is exactly about me. Except that I don’t look all that adultish on the outside – a couple of months ago a cable company salesman came to my front door and asked me if my parents were home. Awkward. And, now that I think about it, wicked creepy.

Most Claustrophobic:
The unnamed town in Imaginary Girls, by Nova Ren Suma
Let’s put it this way: one of the blurbs on this one say that it’s a “surreal little nightmare”, and I couldn’t describe it better. The atmosphere of this mysterious small town in upstate New York (mysterious small towns in upstate New York are the best!) is so oppressive you can feel it as you’re reading. Like humidity. I wanted to get out of this place so bad I wanted to scream – but, you know, in a good way.

Best Excuse For Buying Lightbulbs In Bulk:
Hourglass, by Myra McEntire
Emerson and Michael are connected on such a higher level than the rest of us, they blow fuses and burst lightbulbs when they get down to their sexy business. So if they’re to continue with the shenanigans – and we all hope that they do – they’d better stock up. If that’s not a reason to get thee to the nearest Costco, I don’t know what is.

‘Tis all for this month. Happy New Year! Enjoy the impending apocalypse!

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