Craptitude: a perfectly cromulent word

I’m currently in the middle of copyedits for Book 2, Scorch. Much to my absolute delight, they arrived with a style sheet, which is basically a big list of the made-up words, titles, and general nonsense that maniacally spewed forth from my mind and onto the pages. Reading through them, I can’t help but think of the list as a calculated, detailed inventory of my questionable sanity. If ever I end up on trial for something, this will certainly be presented as evidence. A few gems:

      • asshats
      • bitch slap
      • crapitude
      • cheddar yellow, adj.
      • douchebaggery
      • freakypants
      • hellspawn
      • patootie
      • robohawks
      • snot rag
      • superpowery
      • turdface
      • Turkeyzilla

And many more. My parents must be so proud.

And I learn a lot about the English language during copyedits. For example – Ziploc doesn’t end in a K! Chickenpox is one word! I’m also reminded of the fact that continued sleep deprivation will result in sentences like: “stared at him in the rearview window” (a mirror would probably be more useful) and “showed up on his doorstop one day”, which evokes amusing visuals of someone balancing precariously atop a rubber door wedge.

So yeah, just wanted to share. Back to work – and FYI, the more you stare at the word ‘pharaoh’, the less it seems like an actual word. Try it. Pharaoh. PHARAOH PHARAOH PHARAOH IT’S JUST RANDOM LETTERS SIGNIFYING NOTHING



  1. I do that kind of stuff writing all the time and I have no excuse. In three pages of writing I have about thirty mistakes. And yeah, I edit as I go. I know I’m not supposed to. May I say that “asshat” is a particularly clever and satisfying word!


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