The town of Croak is nestled deep in the heart of the Adirondacks, which is a beautiful mountain range located in beautiful upstate New York. Here are the facts about it that you have demanded:
- Adirondack Park, which is the park the Adirondacks are in (you with me so far?), is the largest park in the contiguous United States. It is around 6.1 million acres, which for comparison is bigger than Vermont. Or bigger than Yellowstone, Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Glacier, and Great Smoky Mountains National Parks combined.
- There are more than 3,000 lakes and 30,000 miles of streams and rivers, so bring your swimsuit.
- The mountains were given the name “Adirondacks” in 1838 by Ebenezer Emmons, who clearly knew a thing or two about awesome names. Unfortunately, it’s also a version of a derogatory word that the Mohawks had for other tribes, and later, the French and English. Oh well.
Focus instead on the pretty.
- A bunch of sanatoriums were located in the Adirondacks in the early twentieth century because of the positive effect the air had on tuberculosis patients. Bet they had some crazy parties.
- If you are in the market for some scintillating furniture history, look no further! The Adirondacks are all about the Adirondack chair, a low, wooden seat that was first designed by Thomas Lee in 1903 (which rhymes) and is now featured around many a fire pit.
Photo of ACTUAL Adirondack Chairs taken in ACTUAL Adirondacks!
And now for some personal anecdotes:
- The Adirondacks are home to Enchanted Forest Water Safari, the best waterpark ever, whose theme song is ingrained in the heads of anyone who grew up in the greater upstate NY area, and which goes like this: “Enchanted Foooorest WA-TER-SA-FAR-IIIII (ear-splitting monkey screech) Where the fun never stops dun-DUN!”
- Lake George, a touristy town that shares a few similarities with our old friend Croak, has a bunch of attractions like Dr. Morbid’s Haunted House and the House of Frankenstein Wax Museum. But it also has a ton of mini golf, including this one with boobies:
As my sister helpfully demonstrates
An indifferent frog:
A polar bear chasing a deer while a giant pumpkin carriage driver watches:
These terrifying elves and clown trash cans:
“See you in your nightmares!”
And a pirate who rejected my sexy advances:
- The Adirondacks are ALSO home to Santa’s Workshop, a little Christmas-centric theme park. (Can you tell my parents dragged us to every single place within three hours of home that might be (mis)construed as “fun”?) The big highlight here was the North Pole, an actual pole made of ice.
Almost too much excitement going on here.
- And finally: one year, on a family trip to Lake Placid, the plucky Damico clan had the pleasure of hiking up Whiteface Mountain and watching a little boy get blown into a crevasse. He was soon rescued, unhurt, and my parents promptly escorted me and my especially kite-like sister out of the gusts and into a nearby hut.
Factual info shamelessly stolen from Wikipedia, so I make no claims that any of it is true. Photos and personal stories, however, did indeed happen. Unfortunately.
Want more Reaper Madness? Check out these previous posts: