I’ve been a bit [word-I-can’t-think-of-to-describe-a-person-who-hadn’t-been-around-much-lately] lately, because I’ve been quite busy thawing and brining and seasoning and basting the turkey that is my Hellhole manuscript.
Revising is a tricky thing. It involves a lot of dissecting chapters, switching things around, figuring out where scenes belong, figuring out where scenes don’t belong, figuring out when scenes need to be taken out back and shot in the head. It’s kind of like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, except that you lost the box and don’t know what the picture is supposed to look like when it’s complete. So you’re plugging away, thinking that you’re working on something involving kittens at a picnic, when all of a sudden you realize–it’s not kittens at a picnic! It’s teddy bears at a tea party! So now you’re furiously working on the friggin’ tea party, but guess what? IT WAS A PICTURESQUE COVERED BRIDGE ALL ALONG.
In trying times such as these, I find it becomes necessary to pull out my most trusted revision friends: cut-up index cards. Map out the book, scene by scene, lay it all out across the dining room table.
Word to the wise, however, for those of you who may want to try this at home: tape down your index cards. Or make sure you’ve set them up in some sort of biodome where nothing can touch them. Because if you let down your guard for even a moment, there’s a good chance they’ll get heartlessly bulldozed by an evil hellbeast.
The best part is that when you read the book, you’ll see how ironic and appropriate this all is. For now, let’s just agree that Carl should be put in cat jail for the remainder of Revision Happy Fun Time.