It is time for me to bust a move.

2014-07-09 16.37.29

I am moving. Yay!

Into a nice house with a big yard. Yay!

Nestled in the scenic, lovely Pioneer Valley in Western Massachusetts. Yay!

Which is far away from Boston. Yay?

And I don’t know anyone. yayy

Don’t get me wrong; I am excited. I am excited about getting a bigger office where I can turn an entire wall into one gigantic dry erase board. I like that my dog will have a lot of space to run around. I will enjoy the peace and quiet and nature and farmlands. I will probably not enjoy getting stuck in traffic behind a tractor, but that comes with the territory and I’m okay with it.

I’m somewhat less okay with the not-living-near-a-major-city thing (and the lawn-care-maintenance-terror thing, but that’s a whole other blog post), since I’ve lived near a major city for the past thirteen years and this will be the first time in a while that I’ve ventured out into the countryside. I think I’ll love it, really I do, but I’m also so drawn to the energy and life of a city that I worry I’ll look out over the vast, rural expanses of snow in the dead of winter and suddenly decide that it would be a good idea to chop up my family with an axe.

(That was a jokey reference to The Shining. I do not have any intention of chopping up my family with an axe. Unless they use permanent marker on my dry erase wall, in which case I cannot be held responsible for any axe-related actions.)

As for not knowing anyone, that’s tricky, too. Writing is already pretty isolating. And even though dressing up the pets and playing Battledog Catlactica is a fun way to simulate healthy social interaction, it gets a little old after the tenth time Starbuck coughs up a hairball.

So I will have to go out and meet people. I am cautiously optimistic about this, even though I am naturally shy. Throw me into a room full of strangers and I will suddenly become exclusively enthralled by the onion dip. (More so than usual, as I am enthralled by dips of all kinds, all of the time.) And when I do open my mouth, strange and unacceptable things come pouring out, like that time I cornered Maggie Stiefvater and started raving about a dismembered kelpie penis. But this time, I am READY. To be CHARMING. And NOT WEIRD.

So Pioneer Valley: be my friend. I will invite you over to my house. I will present you with a festive array of dips. And I will let you draw on my dry erase wall, with the appropriate markers. OR YOU WILL GET AN AXE TO THE FACE.

(I think it’s going well!)

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6 comments

  1. I also moved to the “country” from a city three years ago. Making friends can be tough. Don’t be afraid to try “blind dates” from facebook/google+ groups that are local to your area. And every once in awhile, if you find something in common with someone…”ask them out”. It’s good for you. (I’ve done this…we connected over mutual love of a book series, then went out to dinner not knowing each other at all. We are now great friends…though we like to joke that we met on a blind date…much to the confusion of everyone around us since we are two straight ladies.) And the Pioneer Valley is a great part of Massachusetts (the “city” I left was the Worcester area. Grew up south of Boston, went to college in Worcester and never left until going north.) Good Luck!

    • Yeah, maybe I’ll hold some sort of Bachelorette-type competition and give out roses. Or rather, weeds, from my new giant yard, of which there are many.

      Thanks for your suggestions!

    • Just south of Amherst, in the rurally area. Next to that cow. I have yet to visit Wilbraham, but it’s only a matter of time because of my unhealthy obsession with Friendly’s.

  2. Here’s to hoping you make new friends who totally understand you. I just moved 3 hours away and am starting all over. Where as we lived in the middle of the desert in the mountains, I now live near San Diego. Which is completely different. I went to one book club meeting since moving here and wound up finding my plate of pasta salad to be the most fascinating thing in the universe. So I hope you have more success than I did.

    • Yes, pasta salad can command my fascination too. Any side dish or condiment, really, is preferable over human interaction.

      Thanks for sharing – hope you find a new crew soon!

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