Search Engine Terms, Illustrated

Have you ever been mauled by a feral hamster? Of course you have. Immediately you limped over to your computer, barely conscious from the blood loss, and typed “mauled by a feral hamster” into your favorite search engine. And lo, the first link that popped up took you to a hamster forum, where, among tales about various things being mauled by hamsters, you found additional delights such as photos of a hamster captaining a pirate ship.

Internet searches can lead to a myriad of different and unexpected websites, and one of the benefits of running one of those sites is that I get to see all of the wacky, confusing, sometimes incomprehensible search engine terms that led people to my blog. (Don’t worry, they’re anonymous. I don’t know which of you sickos searched for man-eating plants in real life.) Most are normal, of course–stuff like author of Croak and grim reaper books–but every once in a while, I get some real head-scratchers. Head-scratchers that can only be immortalized in the most dignified way known to man: through doodles.

And so I present to you the first in what will hopefully be an ongoing series of my blog’s strangest search engine terms, illustrated.

Bad Monkey Art

Happy Marriage Cake Iceland

My Sneaky Neighbor Mowed Part Of My Front Lawn, Is That Encroachment

And many more to come. In the meantime, and on a somewhat related note, I have small request. I’m in the process of revamping my website, and I want to find out a little bit more about the various ways in which you guys read the drivel on this here blog. So! If you are so inclined, please answer the following survey question–and if you take the extra step of leaving your email address, you’ll be entered to win something. I don’t know what yet. But it will be cool.

Finally, if you are in the greater Boston area or will be this weekend, I will be appearing at an event on Saturday night, the 15th. It’s a Young Adult Literature Panel with A.C. Gaughen, Diana Renn, and Jacquelyn Mitchard, and it’ll be at 7:00pm at the always-delightful Brookline Booksmith. Hope to see you there!